12 best things about rosh hashanah

shofar1a

Fewer Manischewitz-related DUIs this year.

Party hats good all year round.

Another chance to join elite “I Slept in Temple” club.

Dirge-like tunes actually increase lifespan.

Great day to reflect on poor, horn-less rams everywhere.

Highly fortuitous time to rob houses en masse when all Jews simultaneously called to temple.

Opportunity to resent fellow Jewish co-worker who took day off to go bowling.

Finally get to re-use handicap parking tag from when Grandma broke leg three years ago.

Seeing how many middle-age men yell “Tequi-la!” when Cantor blows shofar.

After 3 days of non-stop prayer, Apple beside itself with excitement.

When ball drops at midnight, everyone yelling Happy 5775!

Awareness that Rabbi can’t wait for it to end either.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s