Fewer Manischewitz-related DUIs this year.
Another chance to join elite “I Slept in Temple” club.
After 3 days of non-stop prayer, Apples everywhere unbelievably excited.
Good day to reflect on the suffering of poor, horn-less rams.
Perfect time to rob houses en masse when all Jews simultaneously called to temple.
Solid opportunity to resent fellow Jewish co-worker who took day off to go bowling.
Good over/under on how many middle-age men yell “Tequi-la!” when Cantor blows shofar.
Party hats usable all year round.
When ball drops at midnight, everyone yelling Happy 5778!
Awareness that Rabbi can’t wait for it to end either.