irresistibly absorbing

dog-on-couch

(I got a little tired of re-posting the cover of the book; so here’s a picture of a dog.)

Yes, Plrknib now has something in common with toilet paper!

Hey – we got a super lovely review over at New Pop Lit!

Yeah, I know I’m not supposed to post references to a lot of reviews – because then I should be posting the bad ones, too, right?  (Not too many of those, yet, tho. Give it time!)  But this one is super-lovely, so…

Here’s a little excerpt…

….Like a comedian’s joke, Plrknib is the kind of narrative you fight against when you start reading it, but it pulls you along despite yourself. Like most of Bernstein’s writing, it’s irresistibly absorbing. Where is this book heading, you ask? What does “plrknib” mean? You’re skeptical, but you continue reading.

You can read the whole thing here.

And of course you can get the book here

a plrknib update!

16-final_102216h_med

Well, it’s been an interesting month-and-a-half to say the least!  Support for Plrknib has been extremely positive.  Thanks so much to all of you who have been buying copies and leaving reviews.  It is much appreciated!

Plrknib has gotten some very lovely initial reviews at both Amazon and Goodreads. We’ve also been doing Goodreads Giveaways.  The latest one is for five signed copies of the paperback.  More information is here.

Plrknib now has two different Facebook pages.  One for the book itself here. And this one dedicated to d.w. eye, the club that’s referenced throughout the book. Please like both pages to get updates on the book and the comics!

We’ve added a Press Section over at the Plrknib site, where you can see some of the recent coverage that the book has been getting.  You can expect to see more in the coming weeks.

Plrknib has also been featured on Publisher’s Weekly’s indie site Booklife for the past week.

Also, since the book is about stand-up, some folks have asked if I’m still performing – and if so, where.  Yes, there are a bunch of dates coming up in 2017, and we’ll be posting those here.  And chances are good that we’ll be giving away signed copies of the book at some of these performances…

 

PLRKNIB LAUNCHES ON AMAZON

16-final_102216h_med

I’m extremely excited to announce that Plrknib is now available at Amazon.

Plrknib – which has been serialized for the past year over at www.plrknib.com – is about my experience doing stand-up comedy during my senior year of high school in 1980.

Early reviews have been great.  Including:

“Hysterical, edge-of-your-seat drama.”

“The Power of Jokes permeates this book…in a way rarely seen in fiction.”

“I felt as though I was on stage with him 30 years ago.”

Plrknib retails for $1.99 (ebook) and $6.99 (paperback).

And! – for this week only – if you’d like a free review copy, contact me at alexb0917@gmail.com and we’ll set you up!

 

coming soon

16_comingsoon1

Some early reviews are now coming in…

“Hilarious and Personal Memoir of What It’s Like to Follow Your Dream of Being A Stand-Up Comic.”

“In this gonzo, coming-of-age memoir set in the early 80’s, Alex Bernstein takes a situation most people might consider trivial – a teenager stealing a professional comedian’s joke – and turns it into high, hysterical, edge-of-your-seat drama.”

“I felt as though I was on stage with him 30 years ago.”

“Halfway thru this book I started telling everyone I knew that they needed to read it.”

“Wow. I Liked a Book About Stand-Up Comedy!”

p. king duckling

Very excited to announce the launch of P. King Duckling on Disney Jr. which I’m writing for.  My episodes don’t air until the tail end of the season, but I’ve seen the current ones and they are phenomenal!  It’s pre-school but with a major Spongebob vibe to it.  If you haven’t seen it, check it out.  The folks at Little Airplane did a terrific job.  Thrilled to be part of the launch!

Here’s the theme song.

harry potter grows up

harry-potter-glasses

My piece Harry Potter Grows Up – outlining a new series of middle-aged adventures for the former boy wizard is up at The Big Jewel.

Here’s an excerpt:

Discovering that she is thoroughly unable to stop writing about her beloved creation, J. K. Rowling has announced a new spate of Harry Potter books chronicling his further adventures into adulthood.  Some upcoming titles include:

Harry Potter and…

The Nagging Quidditch Knee Injury

The Greatly Delayed Loan Payments for Three Damn Kids at Hogwarts

The Long-Delayed Switch from Owls to Skype

The Inappropriate Trade of Snapchat Pix with Luna Lovegood

more

saturday night

16_092916f-3

The penultimate chapter of Plrknib is up.  You can read it here.

It’s a pretty ugly chapter, chronicling a painfully bad stand-up performance.  (Although it’s a nice look at what’s going on in the brain of a comic during a bad and pretty long gig.)  If watching cringe-worthy, trainwreck performances is your thing – this is for you.

If you’re coming late to the game and wondering what all this Plrknib stuff is about – you can read the entire thing here.  You can also check out the site’s About page for the quick skinny on the whole thing.

And in a month or so – the actual book will be coming out.

Hoo ha.

clarity

subway-train1

Excited to announce that my short story “Clarity” is up at the excellent literary site, New Pop Lit.

Here’s the opening:

I’m falling towards train tracks. Subway tracks. The F to be exact. It’s about 9:20 pm. I’m falling towards the tracks because I’ve been massively sideswiped by a homeless man and his Samsonite luggage. Just one piece of luggage, actually. Is luggage singular and plural? You wouldn’t say luggages, right? It’s a nice, sturdy suitcase – at least half the size of the homeless man himself. And sure, it’s dingy, a bit blemished – especially near the bottom. But you really feel it when someone smacks it right into you.

more

the bone nest

owl-pellet2

My short story The Bone Nest is up at Defenestrationism.net.  Here’s a brief excerpt.

Farel, the eight-year-old wolfboy, squat upon the banquet table unceremoniously devouring what was left of a large pheasant, much to the Queen’s distress.  The Grand Hall was an utter mess:  chairs and tables were overturned, the buffet had been routed, and all decorations lay mangled.  The Queen’s horrified guests had left hours ago, and now she stood, fists clenched, staring violently at Farel.

“He should be with the dogs!” she snapped.  “I’ve half a mind to put him there myself!”

“Darling,” started the King, trying to keep a calm demeanor.  “We need to be patient.  We must give him time.”

Zanon – the boy’s elderly instructor – hid behind the King, trembling fearfully. 

“We’ve given him time!” she wailed.  “He’s ruined three parties!  I’ve hardlyany friends left!”

“We need to give more,” said the King.

“Why?!”

“You know very well why,” he said.  “Because he is family.”

Your family.  Not mine,” she said.  “He’s barely human!”

more

album

Bortai

My short story, Album, is up at MidAmerican Fiction and Photography.

Here’s a brief excerpt:

I wonder what I can get at the prize booth for my 37 ski-ball points.  There’s not much you can get these days for 37 points – but another seven and the rubber spider ring is mine.  And I see her standing in front of a funky-looking, ancient machine, definitely from the 50’s – checking it out.  She puts a buck in and tugs on this incredibly-difficult-to-pull stamper.  The thing stamps out whatever you type onto a tiny metal Lucky Key Chain, embossed with horse shoes and four leaf clovers.  She stamps something out, knowing she can’t go back and make changes.  If she makes a mistake, it’s set in there.  It plops into the dispenser and she hands it to me:

BXRTQI LXUS CHMGA

more