it’s a Gi60 weekend!

It’s that time of year, once again, for Gi60! (Gone in 60 Seconds – the One Minute International Theatre Festival).  Gi60 is an evening of 50 short plays in (approx) 50 minutes.  I’ve gone international again, this year, with six pieces performed across three different shows – inc pieces in the Brooklyn and UK Leeds shows, and four in the Gi60 NextGen show (also in Brooklyn).  Above is one of my pieces from last year’s NextGen show – Bupkis.

Tickets are still available for all of the shows this weekend.  You can find links here.  And if you can’t make it out to Brooklyn, the evening shows will also be live streamed.

I will be haunting both of the Saturday shows in Brooklyn, and will likely have a few copies of both Plrknib and Miserable Adventure Stories with me for signing.

Here’s all the information on the shows and tickets.

Hope to see you there!

mom comes to visit

Scene – JEFF and BETH settle cozily onto the couch with Chinese food and prepare to watch TV. Jeff glances over at Beth, and flirts with her.  She flirts back.

JEFF:  I’m glad we got to spend more time together this weekend.

BETH:  Me too.  It’s been great.

They watch TV.  Jeff puts his arm around her.  They look into each other’s eyes, snuggle closer, as if about to kiss.  Suddenly, a screeching, bird-like VOICE comes from offstage.

MOM (OS):  Jeff!?  Jeff – are you home?!

JEFF:  Oh no.

BETH:  Maybe if we’re quiet, she’ll go away…?

MOM:  Jeff?!  Is that you?  Are you here?!  I love you! It’s your mother, Jeff!  Are you in there?

JEFF’S MOM enters in baggy housecoat, and loaded down with several large suitcases. When she talks she sounds like a broken, skipping record.

MOM:  There you are!  It’s me, Jeff! Your mother! I love you! Who’s this?!  Who’s this?!

JEFF:  It’s Beth, Mom.  You’ve met, like, five times.

MOM:  I’m his mother!  I love him! Do you love him?

BETH (embarrassed):  Uhm…well…uh…

MOM:  I love him!  I’m his mother!

JEFF:  I didn’t know you were here, Mom.

MOM:  I yelled!  From outside!  

JEFF:  I guess I didn’t hear you.  

MOM:  I yelled 27 times!! Since early this morning?

BETH:  What did you say?

Jeff glares at Beth.  She smiles, innocently.  


JEFF:  Wow. I guess I just didn’t hear you.  

Mom suddenly withdraws a large knife out of one of her suitcases and threatens them with it.


There is a short moment of intense fear.

MOM:  Just kidding. I love him! I’m his mother!

She puts the knife away.  They relax, slightly.

JEFF:  Why don’t you go upstairs and get some rest, Mom?

MOM:  Oh no! I’ll just stay here! I’ll stay here with you!

BETH (to Jeff):  Maybe we could find her a hotel?

MOM (pulling out knife again):  Jeff!  Jeff! I don’t like her!  I DON’T LIKE HER!

Another moment of intense fear.

MOM:  Just kidding. Do you love him?

Beth grits her teeth.

BETH:  Uhm – that’s such a strong –

MOM:  I love him, too!

BETH:  You’re his mother!

MOM:  Right!  That’s me!

Suddenly, Mom drops all her suitcases, opens one up and starts rifling through it. She tosses clothes all over the room looking for whatever she is looking for.

MOM:  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!  It’s here! I know it’s here! I know it! I just know it’s here! WAIT! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I know it’s here! I know it’s here!

She stops for a moment and looks up.

MOM:  I’m his mother.

Mom dives back into her bags.


Triumphantly, she pulls out a DVD.

MOM:  Deadpool!

She puts it in the DVD player, nearby, turns it on and sits down. She opens another suitcase, which is full of nothing but popcorn. She eats and watches TV.

BETH:  I’ve never seen Deadpool.

MOM:  Great movie! Stay and watch!

JEFF (to Beth):  Maybe we should go out?


BETH:  Why don’t we stay and watch for a while?

The stay and watch. The movie comes on.  After a moment, Mom leans over and talks to Jeff. He is annoyed by her talking during the movie.

MOM:  How are you?  You look well.  Grampa bought a new car! It has a stick shift.  I can’t drive a stick shift!

JEFF (whispering):  Shh…not during the movie, Mom.

MOM:  What’s Bunco?!  Everyone plays Bunco.  

BETH:  I think it’s a game drunk Soccer Moms play.

MOM:  Bunco! Bunco! Bunco!

JEFF:  Don’t encourage her.

MOM:  When I was young I had a kitten!

JEFF:  Mom, please –

MOM:  His name was Snowball!

JEFF:  Shhh…

MOM:  Snowball got hit by a car!  BAM! No more Snowball! Ha ha.


Beat.  Mom looks hurt.  Like she may cry.  Jeff looks apologetic.  

JEFF:  Sorry. I’m sorry.  It’s been a rough day.

Mom smiles.  They all sit back and watch the movie.  Mom starts singing.

MOM:   Raindrops on roses and soft woolen mitten.

             Flowers and laundry and 200 kittens.

             Tie them all up with a big piece of string.

              These are a few of my favorite things.

She start eating lots of popcorn while she sings.

MOM:   Basketball, horseshoes and watching the Beaver.

             Buying a new car and getting a fever.

             Pinching the waiter and having a fling.

             These are a few of my favorite-

Abruptly, she starts choking on popcorn. They watch her without helping. She chokes, falls to the ground, spazzes a bit-

MOM:  Jeff! Jeff! I’m choking! I’m choking! I’m- Jeff! Jeff! This is your mother!  I love you! I – I – I –

She chokes.  Finally, Jeff smacks her on the back. She coughs out a piece of popcorn and passes out. They wait a second and then Jeff presses his fingers next to her throat, checking her pulse.

JEFF:  …She’s fine.

BETH:  Want to finish the movie?

JEFF:  Sure.


groucho in the bardo

Groucho in the Bardo – another piece from my new book Miserable Adventure Stories – is up today at  Very cool site.  Check it out.

This piece features the Marx Brothers – (Zeppo, too! circa Duck Soup) – as well as many other famous film celebrities, and Lincoln.

This piece, FYI, was inspired by my mother’s intense interest in the new book, Lincoln in the Bardo – although you don’t need to have read that book to enjoy this piece.  In fact, you may enjoy this piece even more if you haven’t read that book.  If you’ve read the book, there’s the slight chance that this piece might actually make you angry.  Although, my mother loved this piece.  But hey, she’s my mother.

Here’s the opening:

Scene – The Bardo. A misty, foggy place. RUFUS T. FIREFLY  wanders about lost. There are sounds of faint WAILING and CRYING.

Hello! Hellooo! Either I’m in Hell or the world’s worst sauna!

CHICOLINI appears – also lost. They both creep about, not seeing one another. Chicolini raises his fists, ready to fight.

Who’sa dat? I hear you, but I no see you! And that’s two a you, I already don’t like!

They slowly back into each other and collide, surprised. They’re approximately pleased to see one another.

I should’ve known it was you – fog follows you everywhere!

At’sa true! Hey! This is some barbecue! I think you left the steaks on too long!


the rottweiler

Excited to announce that New Pop Lit is featuring The Rottweiler – the flagship story from my new collection Miserable Adventure Stories – on their site starting today.  NPL is publishing some of the most exciting up-and-coming indie fiction around right now, and I’m thrilled to be among their authors.  Go spend an hour on their site – you won’t regret it.

They also wrote an incredibly lovely introduction to the story that you can find here.  (Super cool illustrations, too.  If you’re into all things Holmes, you should be very cozy here.)

Here’s the opening of the story itself:

It was a cold, brittle day in late December when I came to the apartments of 442D Butcher Street, London, and met my cousin, the illustrious Sir Roderick Rottswilde for the first time. But Sir Roderick was known by another more famous name. He was familiar to all Londoners as not-quite-the-World’s-Greatest-Detective, and second-only-to-that-august-personage-himself-Mr. Sherlock Holmes. My elder cousin was, in fact, The Rottweiler.

And now, Sir Roderick – The Rottweiler – had done the impossible. He’d recovered the Crown Jewels of the Tower of London itself and captured the brigands who’d stolen them. And, today, amid a sea of reporters, he was turning both over to the highest ranking officers of Scotland Yard.




Pirated Video Sites Mostly Drop Louis C.K.

In light of his recent admission to sexual misconduct, the pirated video websites TorrentNitz and FreeeeMoviesNow! have removed most of their Louis C.K. content, including his emmy-winning FX show “Louie”, “Pootie Tang”, several of his earlier, less downloaded comedy specials, and his as-yet-unreleased-but-unbelievably-easy-to-obtain film “I Love You, Daddy.”

“We find this kind of behavior totally unacceptable of the people we steal content from,” said Roy Steemer, President and CEO of TorrentNitz. TorrentNitz recently removed a whole lot of their Kevin Spacey content.

In keeping with their standard policies and procedures, TorrentNitz and FreeMoviesNow! have already made “Justice League” available.

10 best things about rosh hashanah


Fewer Manischewitz-related DUIs this year.

Another chance to join elite “I Slept in Temple” club.

After 3 days of non-stop prayer, Apples everywhere unbelievably excited.

Good day to reflect on the suffering of poor, horn-less rams.

Perfect time to rob houses en masse when all Jews simultaneously called to temple.

Solid opportunity to resent fellow Jewish co-worker who took day off to go bowling.

Good over/under on how many middle-age men yell “Tequi-la!” when Cantor blows shofar.

Party hats usable all year round.

When ball drops at midnight, everyone yelling Happy 5778!

Awareness that Rabbi can’t wait for it to end either.

a plrknib update!


Well, it’s been an interesting month-and-a-half to say the least!  Support for Plrknib has been extremely positive.  Thanks so much to all of you who have been buying copies and leaving reviews.  It is much appreciated!

Plrknib has gotten some very lovely initial reviews at both Amazon and Goodreads. We’ve also been doing Goodreads Giveaways.  The latest one is for five signed copies of the paperback.  More information is here.

Plrknib now has two different Facebook pages.  One for the book itself here. And this one dedicated to d.w. eye, the club that’s referenced throughout the book. Please like both pages to get updates on the book and the comics!

We’ve added a Press Section over at the Plrknib site, where you can see some of the recent coverage that the book has been getting.  You can expect to see more in the coming weeks.

Plrknib has also been featured on Publisher’s Weekly’s indie site Booklife for the past week.

Also, since the book is about stand-up, some folks have asked if I’m still performing – and if so, where.  Yes, there are a bunch of dates coming up in 2017, and we’ll be posting those here.  And chances are good that we’ll be giving away signed copies of the book at some of these performances…




I’m extremely excited to announce that Plrknib is now available at Amazon.

Plrknib – which has been serialized for the past year over at – is about my experience doing stand-up comedy during my senior year of high school in 1980.

Early reviews have been great.  Including:

“Hysterical, edge-of-your-seat drama.”

“The Power of Jokes permeates this book…in a way rarely seen in fiction.”

“I felt as though I was on stage with him 30 years ago.”

Plrknib retails for $1.99 (ebook) and $6.99 (paperback).

And! – for this week only – if you’d like a free review copy, contact me at and we’ll set you up!