irresistibly absorbing

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(I got a little tired of re-posting the cover of the book; so here’s a picture of a dog.)

Yes, Plrknib now has something in common with toilet paper!

Hey – we got a super lovely review over at New Pop Lit!

Yeah, I know I’m not supposed to post references to a lot of reviews – because then I should be posting the bad ones, too, right?  (Not too many of those, yet, tho. Give it time!)  But this one is super-lovely, so…

Here’s a little excerpt…

….Like a comedian’s joke, Plrknib is the kind of narrative you fight against when you start reading it, but it pulls you along despite yourself. Like most of Bernstein’s writing, it’s irresistibly absorbing. Where is this book heading, you ask? What does “plrknib” mean? You’re skeptical, but you continue reading.

You can read the whole thing here.

And of course you can get the book here

a plrknib update!

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Well, it’s been an interesting month-and-a-half to say the least!  Support for Plrknib has been extremely positive.  Thanks so much to all of you who have been buying copies and leaving reviews.  It is much appreciated!

Plrknib has gotten some very lovely initial reviews at both Amazon and Goodreads. We’ve also been doing Goodreads Giveaways.  The latest one is for five signed copies of the paperback.  More information is here.

Plrknib now has two different Facebook pages.  One for the book itself here. And this one dedicated to d.w. eye, the club that’s referenced throughout the book. Please like both pages to get updates on the book and the comics!

We’ve added a Press Section over at the Plrknib site, where you can see some of the recent coverage that the book has been getting.  You can expect to see more in the coming weeks.

Plrknib has also been featured on Publisher’s Weekly’s indie site Booklife for the past week.

Also, since the book is about stand-up, some folks have asked if I’m still performing – and if so, where.  Yes, there are a bunch of dates coming up in 2017, and we’ll be posting those here.  And chances are good that we’ll be giving away signed copies of the book at some of these performances…

 

PLRKNIB LAUNCHES ON AMAZON

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I’m extremely excited to announce that Plrknib is now available at Amazon.

Plrknib – which has been serialized for the past year over at www.plrknib.com – is about my experience doing stand-up comedy during my senior year of high school in 1980.

Early reviews have been great.  Including:

“Hysterical, edge-of-your-seat drama.”

“The Power of Jokes permeates this book…in a way rarely seen in fiction.”

“I felt as though I was on stage with him 30 years ago.”

Plrknib retails for $1.99 (ebook) and $6.99 (paperback).

And! – for this week only – if you’d like a free review copy, contact me at alexb0917@gmail.com and we’ll set you up!

 

coming soon

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Some early reviews are now coming in…

“Hilarious and Personal Memoir of What It’s Like to Follow Your Dream of Being A Stand-Up Comic.”

“In this gonzo, coming-of-age memoir set in the early 80’s, Alex Bernstein takes a situation most people might consider trivial – a teenager stealing a professional comedian’s joke – and turns it into high, hysterical, edge-of-your-seat drama.”

“I felt as though I was on stage with him 30 years ago.”

“Halfway thru this book I started telling everyone I knew that they needed to read it.”

“Wow. I Liked a Book About Stand-Up Comedy!”

p. king duckling

Very excited to announce the launch of P. King Duckling on Disney Jr. which I’m writing for.  My episodes don’t air until the tail end of the season, but I’ve seen the current ones and they are phenomenal!  It’s pre-school but with a major Spongebob vibe to it.  If you haven’t seen it, check it out.  The folks at Little Airplane did a terrific job.  Thrilled to be part of the launch!

Here’s the theme song.

harry potter grows up

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My piece Harry Potter Grows Up – outlining a new series of middle-aged adventures for the former boy wizard is up at The Big Jewel.

Here’s an excerpt:

Discovering that she is thoroughly unable to stop writing about her beloved creation, J. K. Rowling has announced a new spate of Harry Potter books chronicling his further adventures into adulthood.  Some upcoming titles include:

Harry Potter and…

The Nagging Quidditch Knee Injury

The Greatly Delayed Loan Payments for Three Damn Kids at Hogwarts

The Long-Delayed Switch from Owls to Skype

The Inappropriate Trade of Snapchat Pix with Luna Lovegood

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clarity

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Excited to announce that my short story “Clarity” is up at the excellent literary site, New Pop Lit.

Here’s the opening:

I’m falling towards train tracks. Subway tracks. The F to be exact. It’s about 9:20 pm. I’m falling towards the tracks because I’ve been massively sideswiped by a homeless man and his Samsonite luggage. Just one piece of luggage, actually. Is luggage singular and plural? You wouldn’t say luggages, right? It’s a nice, sturdy suitcase – at least half the size of the homeless man himself. And sure, it’s dingy, a bit blemished – especially near the bottom. But you really feel it when someone smacks it right into you.

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album

Bortai

My short story, Album, is up at MidAmerican Fiction and Photography.

Here’s a brief excerpt:

I wonder what I can get at the prize booth for my 37 ski-ball points.  There’s not much you can get these days for 37 points – but another seven and the rubber spider ring is mine.  And I see her standing in front of a funky-looking, ancient machine, definitely from the 50’s – checking it out.  She puts a buck in and tugs on this incredibly-difficult-to-pull stamper.  The thing stamps out whatever you type onto a tiny metal Lucky Key Chain, embossed with horse shoes and four leaf clovers.  She stamps something out, knowing she can’t go back and make changes.  If she makes a mistake, it’s set in there.  It plops into the dispenser and she hands it to me:

BXRTQI LXUS CHMGA

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all the comforts

My piece – All the Comforts – about a cranky Earth human taking a tour on an intergalactic space-bus – is up at The Zodiac Review.

Here’s an excerpt.

 

“Oooooh!”  “Ahhh!”  “Glaav!”

Murmurs of awe erupted from 96 passengers, encompassing eight different planetary species, and 18 languages, as yet another “Moment of Wonder” appeared outside the southern window of Gerrison’s Interstellar Adventure Macrobuus.  This time, it was tiny pin-pop flashes of phosphate crackling in the early morning light against the dark red background of Mt. Dosav’a on the lushly popular planet Jove8.

Of the 96 passengers, only three did not Oooooh, Ahhh, or Glaav.  They were: Colcalm, the bus-driver, who’s sacred trust was to simply keep his eyes on the road; Merrieux, the young, golden, half-Jovian/half-French tour guide who, while still taken by the light show, remained a consummate professional; and Dick Magrish, 82-year-old human from Budweiser, Michigan, NAmerica, Sol3 (Earth), who continuously wore a sleep mask and earplugs during every highlight of the tour.

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barb

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I’m quite pleased to announce that my new piece Barb is now up at The Big Jewel.  And just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Here’s a little excerpt:

 

Barb was extremely popular in a way that I was extremely not.

There was something about Barb. The way she chewed her pens and threw them out before the ink exploded. And then I’d retrieve the pens and chew where she chewed, even if they did explode. And then I’d have blue teeth for weeks. And people would go, Eugh. He’s been chewing Barb’s pens again. Loser!

We had a special relationship, me and Barb.

She was always there for me. When I tripped in the hallway, she was there. When I spilled lunch on myself, she was there. When I got shoved into lockers, she was there. And usually helping to change the locks.

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