Fewer Manischewitz-related DUIs this year.
Party hats good all year round.
Another chance to join elite “I Slept in Temple” club.
Dirge-like tunes actually increase lifespan.
Great day to reflect on poor, horn-less rams everywhere.
Highly fortuitous time to rob houses en masse when all Jews simultaneously called to temple.
Opportunity to resent fellow Jewish co-worker who took day off to go bowling.
Finally get to re-use handicap parking tag from when Grandma broke leg three years ago.
Seeing how many middle-age men yell “Tequi-la!” when Cantor blows shofar.
After 3 days of non-stop prayer, Apple beside itself with excitement.
When ball drops at midnight, everyone yelling Happy 5775!
Awareness that Rabbi can’t wait for it to end either.